I wanted to start reflecting back on 2025 so I can begin setting my sights on 2026.
And I'm trying to remember the year but it all feels like a blur.
I remember starting the year feeling a pressure to "top" the pieces I made for my Antler Gallery show.
I remember saying "yes" to the KILN II show invite.
I remember mustering the courage to attend the opening exhibition for the KILN II show.
I remember my confusion and despair over my spirituality and love life.
I remember giving up on those things and then crossing paths with someone so special.
I remember how he changed me.
I remember how he showed me what "more" could look like.
I remember how he showed me what expansion felt like.
I remember how he made me feel so seen.
I remember the feeling of momentum building with my work and career moving towards a whole new direction.
I remember feeling my edges starting to burn.
I remember feeling renewed and rejuvenated.
I remember the discomfort that came with me stepping out of my comfort zone.
I remember the love of being surrounded by my friends and family.
I remember moments where I realised I had a lot more work to do on myself.
I remember a period of naïvety and innocence.
I remember a period of pause.
I remember a period of crisis.
I remember the deception that tainted and destroyed everything.
I remember my hurt and my broken heart.
I remember the many ways in which 2025 has shaped and changed me into a new person.
I remember towards the beginning of this year, I experienced a moment where I genuinely thought I was going to die. My dog and I were on our early morning walk when we saw a rocket shoot across the dark morning sky. I remember thinking that it was either a missile or an alien, and in a few seconds this was going to be the end for us.
I remember the peace I felt in that moment as my life flashed before my eyes.
I remember feeling like I had a good run with no regrets.
I remember feeling so happy that in the moments before my death, I was out enjoying a quiet, cool morning walking with my dog, and listening to a fun podcast.
And I remember being so at peace with dying right then and there.
I used to be so unsure of myself and my abilities
But after 2025, I know that I can genuinely trust in myself—and my abilities—to handle whatever may come my way in the future.
I'm thankful I got another year to live, and experience, life.