Even though I intentionally chose to practice “doing nothing” during my vacation, this trip ended up being a catalyst for some pivotal changes in my life without me actually...doing anything.
One of the things I was meditating on while I was away was:
“Who do I want to be for the rest of my 30’s?”
I am someone who is always planning and looking ahead. And I wanted to start thinking about who I was going to be for the rest of my 30’s, because that person will then lay the foundation for the woman I’ll be when I hit my 40's. And after discovering that my now ex-boyfriend had been cheating on me the last two months of our relationship I learned about the woman I am—and the woman I want to be.
I am a woman who deeply—and unapologetically—loves herself.
And with this love, there is also a vast amount of respect I have for myself.
And I want this love and respect to be reflected back to me within my relationships.
I am a woman who lives her life with an open heart;
My strength is found within my vulnerability;
And my spirit shines bright like the sun with my warm, honest authenticity.
I am a woman who tries to appreciate—and make the most out of—the gift and blessing that is life.
I think about all of the choices and events that my parents, my grandparents, my ancestors—all of human history, the Earth’s history, THE UNIVERSE ITSELF and it's history…everything that has ever had to have happened for me to even exist in this very moment. And I want to make sure the sacrifices that were made, the pain and suffering that they survived, will not be taken for granted or go to waste with me.
I am a woman who protects herself and her peace.
I am a woman who does not tolerate someone she considers close to her treating her in such a hurtful, disrespectful manner.
I am a woman who tries to stand up for herself, and no longer wants to shy away from calling someone in who has deeply hurt her in the hopes that they will never treat anyone like that ever again.
Life is so precious. And the connections we have with one another are precious.
Especially in this current era we are experiencing where we need each other now more than ever.
And well...people are complicated and can make really stupid, hurtful choices and mistakes—including the people close to us that we deeply care about, and (hopefully) care about us as well.
I want to be a woman who is compassionate, forgiving, fair, and just.
I want to be a woman who believes that people are capable of changing who they are—whether it’s self-destructive behaviours, deeply rooted hateful beliefs, or outdated perspectives and views they may have about themselves or the world around them.
I want to be a woman who believes that if someone takes accountability—and is genuine in their remorse—then they are worthy of my grace, mercy, and forgiveness.
I don’t really know what the future holds for me, but at least I know who I am—and who I will be—for the rest of my 30’s.
If you'd like to read more about my Spirit Sketches: https://lioninthetrees.com/blog/2025/05/01/raku-mini-gaki-show/