I was invited to participate in the upcoming Raku Mini Gaki show at Giant Robot Store!
Art goes live online on 5/3 @ 11 AM PT!
Art will be available here:
The Raku Gaki exhibitions traditionally are meant to showcase sketches from a variety of artists. It’s not meant to be like…super refined work (not to say you can't do that) but rather the spirit and intention is to be a safe space for artistic vulnerability, and to share a little bit from the Sacred Space that is an artist’s sketchbook.
You could sketch something new or it could be an older sketch. Reading the invite made me realise I hadn’t actually sketched in a long time aside from my super quick scribbles for ceramic ideas.
I used to do these sketches that were also a part of my spiritual practice. I’d use markers, pen, and ink and I would just free draw these pages inspired by words of affirmation, lyrics, animals, and symbols that were meaningful to me.
Most of the time, I sketched birds because I wanted to get better at drawing their wings. But I also found a sense of freedom and power in their ability to fly. Creating these pages were a form of meditation and prayer for me.
I thought one of these sketchbook pages would be fantastic for this show.
And I contemplated using one of my past pages, but as I flipped through them they felt too intimate and personal—almost like diary entries.
I pride myself in being open and vulnerable, but I didn’t feel comfortable putting the majority of these pages on public display. Especially given that when I first drew these sketches, it was under the intention that I would never pressure myself to share them with anyone unless I genuinely felt like it.
And the ones that I did feel comfortable sharing, I didn’t want to tear them out. It made me feel really sad to think about removing them—separating them from all the others—when they collectively exist as a memory to a core period in my life.
So I decided to sketch something new!
Ever since reading Carl Sagan’s Demon Haunted World, I’ve been on yet another journey questioning, renovating, and re-evaluating spirituality and my own spiritual beliefs/practices.
And so it didn’t feel honest or authentic for me to use the same phrases/vocabulary that I once incorporated into these sketches because I wasn’t sure how I felt about them or that part of me anymore.
Words and phrases are a key part of these sketches and so I really struggled with what to incorporate into my sketch for this show. I wanted to use vocabulary and phrases that meant something to me in this present moment, and I also thought about incorporating my spiritual struggles into it somehow.
At first, I tried removing the pages before drawing so I wouldn’t accidentally ruin the sketch trying to tear it out. But it just felt so unnatural, so I returned to drawing within my book itself.
I was also a little rusty when it came to sketching like this and trusting my hand.
But once I warmed up, I started to remember how to put pen to paper.
I really wanted to keep this sketch but I knew what I was getting into when I created it. So I wasn’t too bummed tearing it out and sending it to Giant Robot.
I can see some areas where words and phrases can absolutely fit. And I remember it bothering me that I couldn’t fully fill out the areas, but I also like that I left them empty vs trying to force something to go there because that’s just where I am at the moment.
And one day, in the future, maybe something new that resonates with me can take their place in those empty spaces.